Liverpool jokes!

Here are a collection of the craziest Liverpool jokes (with a special emphasis on our man Rafa ;)

• Roman Abrahamovich to Sir Alex Fergusson- " I think Rafa Benitez is a retard", Fergie: "Well, I know that, but can you prove it?".... Abrahamovich - "He just bought Glen Johnson!"

• Q: What do General Pinochet, Adolf Hitler and Rafa Benitez have in common?
  A: All of them round up people in football stadiums and torture them!
  

• Q:Why did Rafa Benitez buy Glen Johnson for 19 million pounds?
  A:Steven Gerrard forgot his English and was willing to pay up!

• Q: What do you call a Liverpool player with a winner's medal?....... A: Non-existant!

• Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty pound note. Who gets it?
  A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.

• Q: Rafa Benitez and Carlo Ancelotti jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one hits the ground first?
  A: Who cares!!

• Q: What do you get when you cross a Liverpool fan with a pig?
  A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

• Q: How do you define 144 Liverpool fans
  A:A waste of flesh!

• Q: What do Liverpool goalkeeper Pepe Reina and late Singer Michael Jackson have in common?
  A: Both would wear gloves for no apparent reason.

• Q: What do you call a Liverpool fan on the moon?
  A: A Problem.

  Q: What do you call 100 Liverpool fans on the moon?
  A: An even bigger problem.

  Q: What do you call all the Liverpool fans on the moon?
  A: Problem solved

• Q:Why wasnt Jesus Christ born in Liverpool?
  A:Because God couldnt find 3 wise men and a virgin!

• Q:Which ship has never docked at Liverpool?
  A:The Premiership! :D
• Rafa Benitez goes to play Kaun Banega Crorepati. He's gone past 5 questions. Host:On your screen is a photo of an ex-Liverpool player, taken when he was 3 years old. Please identify him.
  Rafa: Er... Im confused. Im sure it has to be either Ian Rush or Michael Owen. Can I use my last lifeline and call a friend?
  Host: Sure! This is your last lifeline. Who do you wish to call?
  Rafa: I'd like to call Carlo Ancelotti.
  The host calls Carlo Ancelotti and briefs him about the current situation.
  Host: I've just faxed you a picture. This is an ex-liverpool player when he was 3 years old. Rafa Benitez, your friend, would like you to help identify him.
  Rafa: Hey, Carlo? Any idea who it is? I'm 50/50 so I wanted to ask you.
  Carlo: Hey Rafa! Hows life? I'm sure its Michael Owen.
  Rafa: Sure? I thought it might be Ian Rush.
  Carlo: Sure! I'm totally sure. I've even taken Owen's autograph myself.
  Host: So your final answer, Mr. Benitez?
  Rafa: I'll go with Ian Rush
  Host: Sure? Your friend seemed certain.
  Rafa: He's trying to con me. He wants me to lose the money. What a fool! I knew he'd give the wrong answer in the process. Haha
  Host: Then Ian Rush is your final answer, can I lock that?
  Host: I'm sorry, Mr. Benitez. You're wrong. You've lost all the money you had won so far. Thanks for playing the game!
  Rafa: Wait? Does that mean it was Michael Owen? Thats not possible! I've seen him on TV!
  Host: It was Emile Heskey :D
  

Some of these are adapted from some sources. I'll keep adding to the list when I make up some more :D